Good Day All!
Have you ever crossed paths with someone so amazing that a feeling tugs at you and you’re afraid of it? Or maybe the other person was afraid? Yeah. I’ve been there. Love is a frightening and amazing sentiment. For me, I’m very wary to say it or feel it.
And then, I wondered why people are afraid of love. Here are a few reasons:
1) Fear of Commitment–In my mind, this is the #1 reason for most people. I’m not an expert but I’ve met people who are—for lack of a better word—commitment-phobs because they’ve been cheated on or witnessed the cheating done to someone close to them. And instead of taking a chance on love, they’d rather “play the field” or avoid love altogether in order not to be trapped.
2) Fear of Loss/Being Hurt—Annnd welcome to my fear. I loved once (hard too) and was hurt very badly. I’ve been in a couple of relationships since then, but I’ve always held back because I didn’t want to feel that hurt again. But such an action can destroy any chances of a successful relationship.
3) Fear of Disapproval–This one is a mixed bag, but boils down to being disapproved upon by family, friends, or society. It may be based on the other person being of a different race, nationality, creed, body type, political standing, religious background, or of the same-sex. Basically, you’re afraid to love because there’ll be hell to pay with some outside force.
4) Fear of Disappointing—Some people fear disappointing a potential partner. I’ll admit, I’ve said to one or two potential suitors, “When you get to know the real me, you may be disappointed and change your mind.” Lucky for me, they didn’t. But I’m sure others who have felt this way probably keep their distance than give into love.
5) Fear of Being Found Out—Okay, everyone has secrets. But should that keep you from love? For many, a personal shame does keep them from an intense love. I’ve seen men and women be afraid fear being known too well and they end up shunning their partners to protect themselves.
As I’ve come into my infinite wisdom, the meaning and process of love has changed for me as well as how I approach relationships. Mostly, my choices are based on how I’m treated by my suitor and how I feel. There’s always that lingering fear but, recently, I’ve charged through that. After being single for over a year, I’m in a newly minted relationship with a man who consistently shows his true colors and that he can be trusted. He’s patient, generous, honest, comical, affectionate, humble, smart, and so much more. And because he is all of those things and contributes to my happiness, I’m more confident in taking a chance at love with him.
I hope you can find your breakthrough and take a chance even though you might be afraid of love.
Follow Anita on Twitter: @Emranija