What’s Shakin’ Happy People!
With the holidays upon us, one thing has been on my mind lately: relationships. I’ve realized that relationships are a very important part of my life and I’m extremely serious about them, too. I’m so selective about the people I choose to be in my circle. Over the years, I’ve learned that there are different ways of treating each relationship. As a whole I want all of my relationships to be healthy, which is a struggle in itself.
So, that’s the question of the day: How do you maintain a healthy relationship?
Whether it’s a budding friendship, life-long family bond, or romantic connection having healthiness in any is key. Here are a few useful tips to keep any relationship wholesome (BTW: don’t be fooled by the “couples” talk. These tips are good for any relationship):
Successful relationships take work. They don’t happen in a vacuum. They occur when the couples in them take the risk of sharing what’s going on in their hearts and heads.
You can only change yourself, not your partner. If you love someone and think that after a while he or she will alter behaviors you find uncomfortable, think again. If you want changes, put them on the table so your partner knows what you need.
All arguments stem from our own fear or pain. When hurt occurs, check out what’s going on inside of you rather than get angry with your partner. Truth is that we usually aren’t upset for the reasons we think we are.
Honor each other in some way every day. Every morning you have the opportunity to make your relationship sweeter and deeper by recommitting to your mate. Feeling respected and cherished by the one you love makes life much nicer.
Anger is a waste of time. Anger is also a relationship killer, because it makes you self-absorbed and won’t allow you to see the good. If you are annoyed with your mate, give yourself some time to calm down and then gently discuss what’s going on for you.
Be responsible for your own happiness. No other person can make you happy. It’s something you have to do on your own. If you feel it’s your partner’s fault, think again, and look within to find out what piece may be missing for you.
Give what you want to get. Our needs change with time. If you’d like to feel understood, try being more understanding. If you want to feel more love, try giving more. It’s a simple program that really works.
SIDE NOTE: Please understand that it takes two people to keep up any relationship. This will not work if one person practices the above tips.
Follow Anita on Twitter: @Emranija
*Resources from Emotion Fitness by Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D.