Greetings Groovy Readers:
Ever since Tyler Perry’s Why Did I Get Married movie came out, the 80/20 rule was brought to the forefront. The rule states that you only get 80% of what you need in a healthy relationship and the missing 20% is what you hoped to find in your partner. This small percentage may cause a person to cheat. After some research, I found that this is a mythical movie rule and probably taken from the Pareto Principle. Nevertheless, it’s a practical rule to follow.
If you haven’t noticed my last few blogs of 2013 have been about relationships. The titled rule suggests that one should preserve the healthy relationships as well as nurturing and recognizing the 80% received in them, instead of seeking out new ones that fulfills the remaining 20%. I couldn’t agree more!
I believe in focusing on the relationships that I do have and nurturing the bond there. It’s important to maintaining good relationships with the people who share my core values. And when it comes to a romantic relationship, cheating is not an option. I’d rather breakup than disrespect my partner; however, there are many who don’t. My question for those who cheat for that 20% is: Is it worth it?
I’m not saying that in every relationship the 80% is there or that the 20% won’t give you more. What I am saying is that you should appreciate and respect what you do have. Understanding this rule will help you navigate the ups and downs of relationships.
Often times, some of the biggest challenges stem from people entering into a relationship to solely get something out of it. People want to find someone who’s going to make them feel good and there’s nothing wrong with that but only if it’s the sole goal. Let’s face it, the only way a relationship will last past the first date is if you view a relationship as a place–a place where you give and explore, and not just take. In my opinion, when you’re in a healthy place in your life, it gives just about any relationship a good chance of survival. There’s no point pursuing anything when you aren’t mentally or emotionally ready.
Remember, only you have the power to work on the 80% while the remaining 20% will be a joint effort to build a relationship that lasts. Recognizing your own needs versus your need/want from a relationship is key in the 80/20 rule.
Follow Anita on Twitter: @Emranija