The Importance of the 80/20 Rule in Relationships

Greetings Groovy Readers:

Ever since Tyler Perry’s Why Did I Get Married movie came out, the 80/20 rule was brought to the forefront. The rule states that you only get 80% of what you need in a healthy relationship and the missing 20% is what you hoped to find in your partner. This small percentage may cause a person to cheat. After some research, I found that this is a mythical movie rule and probably taken from the Pareto Principle. Nevertheless, it’s a practical rule to follow.

If you haven’t noticed my last few blogs of 2013 have been about relationships. The titled rule suggests that one should preserve the healthy relationships as well as nurturing and recognizing the 80% received in them, instead of seeking out new ones that fulfills the remaining 20%. I couldn’t agree more!

I believe in focusing on the relationships that I do have and nurturing the bond there. It’s important to maintaining good relationships with the people who share my core values. And when it comes to a romantic relationship, cheating is not an option. I’d rather breakup than disrespect my partner; however, there are many who don’t. My question for those who cheat for that 20% is: Is it worth it?

I’m not saying that in every relationship the 80% is there or that the 20% won’t give you more. What I am saying is that you should appreciate and respect what you do have. Understanding this rule will help you navigate the ups and downs of relationships.

Often times, some of the biggest challenges stem from people entering into a relationship to solely get something out of it. People want to find someone who’s going to make them feel good and there’s nothing wrong with that but only if it’s the sole goal. Let’s face it, the only way a relationship will last past the first date is if you view a relationship as a place–a place where you give and explore, and not just take. In my opinion, when you’re in a healthy place in your life, it gives just about any relationship a good chance of survival. There’s no point pursuing anything when you aren’t mentally or emotionally ready.

Remember, only you have the power to work on the 80% while the remaining 20% will be a joint effort to build a relationship that lasts. Recognizing your own needs versus your need/want from a relationship is key in the 80/20 rule.

Enjoy!

~Anita

Follow Anita on Twitter: @Emranija

Resources: A New Twist on the 80/20 Rule for Relationships

Interview with a Comic Artist: Louis Small Jr

Happy New Year’s Eve Everyone,

Skylar here. I’m back with one last 2013 blog post, my second interview from the 2013 VA Comicon.

See you in the new year, folks!

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(¸.•´ (¸.•’* Skylar Jade

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In Louis’ Repertoire:  

Meet comic artist Louis Small Jr

Vampirella

Good Girl Art

Codename: Knockout

A little bit about Louis…

Louis Small Jr began his comic illustrating career with Vampirella for Harris Comics in 1992. Since then, he has contributed work for Valiant, DC, Marvel, Continuity, and Vertigo as a freelance artist.

THE INTERVIEW:

I’d like to start by introducing you to my readers:

How did you become a comic book artist? How long have you been doing this?

In 1992, I was in the military and deployed to Saudi Arabia. [I co-created] an underground newsletter called Kamel Krack with one other artist and two writers. [With no formal training], I learned to draw from an art book.

Four months after getting out of the military, I was hired by Harris Comics to do freelance work on Vampirella.

Blood always helps with beauty regiments.

I’m familiar with the Vampirella series. Could you enlighten me about other projects in your repertoire?

With Codename: Knockout, Rob Rodi described the female character and originally wanted a Danger Girl-type character. I suggested that we go another route and drew a girl of Puerto Rican descent that I knew. 

Who doesn’t love a women with curvy lines?

What is your absolute favorite comic series that you’ve worked on?

Vampirella because I read the comic as a kid. I grew up in New Jersey and remember being too young to get a copy, but I [managed anyway.]

Who is the most influential person that propelled you into this career?

Neal Adams, the founder of Continuity Comics and the man responsible for [establishing] comic artist rights. He also [revitalized] Batman’s dark, tough mode.

If you weren’t a comic book artist, what job would you have probably taken up?

I was going to own a gym or became a forest ranger.

This next question is vital—well, at least to me. Are you a Trekkie or a Jedi?

I’m somewhere in the middle. But if I have to choose…I’m a Trekkie.

Finally, what upcoming projects do you have in the works that my readers should know about?

I’m working on a children’s comic book called Cap’n Mojo with a team in Raleigh, North Carolina.

To find out more about Louis, access the following link: Comic Vine: Louis Small Jr or follow Louis on his community Facebook.

Sweetness: My LSJ autograph

Build Your Savings in 2014

Aside

Bonjour Happy People,

I’ve seen this savings suggestion before. I’m hoping to save this much by the end of 2014. Hopefully, this will help a lot of you.

Enjoy!
~Anita

Follow Anita on Twitter @Emranija

How to Maintain a Healthy Relationship

Courtesy of Joseph Crachiola Photography

What’s Shakin’ Happy People!

With the holidays upon us, one thing has been on my mind lately: relationships. I’ve realized that relationships are a very important part of my life and I’m extremely serious about them, too. I’m so selective about the people I choose to be in my circle. Over the years, I’ve learned that there are different ways of treating each relationship. As a whole I want all of my relationships to be healthy, which is a struggle in itself.

So, that’s the question of the day: How do you maintain a healthy relationship?

Whether it’s a budding friendship, life-long family bond, or romantic connection having healthiness in any is key. Here are a few useful tips to keep any relationship wholesome (BTW: don’t be fooled by the “couples” talk. These tips are good for any relationship):

Successful relationships take work. They don’t happen in a vacuum. They occur when the couples in them take the risk of sharing what’s going on in their hearts and heads.

You can only change yourself, not your partner. If you love someone and think that after a while he or she will alter behaviors you find uncomfortable, think again. If you want changes, put them on the table so your partner knows what you need.

All arguments stem from our own fear or pain. When hurt occurs, check out what’s going on inside of you rather than get angry with your partner. Truth is that we usually aren’t upset for the reasons we think we are.

Honor each other in some way every day. Every morning you have the opportunity to make your relationship sweeter and deeper by recommitting to your mate. Feeling respected and cherished by the one you love makes life much nicer.

Anger is a waste of time. Anger is also a relationship killer, because it makes you self-absorbed and won’t allow you to see the good. If you are annoyed with your mate, give yourself some time to calm down and then gently discuss what’s going on for you.

Be responsible for your own happiness. No other person can make you happy. It’s something you have to do on your own. If you feel it’s your partner’s fault, think again, and look within to find out what piece may be missing for you.

Give what you want to get. Our needs change with time. If you’d like to feel understood, try being more understanding. If you want to feel more love, try giving more. It’s a simple program that really works.

SIDE NOTE: Please understand that it takes two people to keep up any relationship. This will not work if one person practices the above tips.

Enjoy!

~Anita

Follow Anita on Twitter: @Emranija

*Resources from Emotion Fitness by Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D.

What Is the X in Xmas?

Merry Christmas blog followers!

Merry Xmas Everyone!

Funny Stuff: Conan O’Brien Reel

Video

Happy Christmas Eve Happy People,

Check out this video from Team CoCo: Ice Cube, Kevin Hart, and Conan O’Brien Share A Lyft Car. Hope this gives you a hardy laugh. I was having a not-so-good day and this definitely lifted my spirits.

Favorite line: “How about: If you’re not sure, the white-freckled guy’s the cure.”

ROTFL

Enjoy!

~Anita

10 Ways To Know He’s Into You

This is how know he IS into me…

James Michael Sama

Admittedly, it can be hard to read people these days. Does it matter how long it took to return your text? Did they just give you attitude because they only sent one word, or are they just really busy?

Is he really into you, or is he just playing you? And, how can you tell?

Below are a few general things to pay attention to when a man is courting you, that may help you realize whether or not he is really into you. I hope this insight is helpful, you know, since I’m a man and all.

He will take initiative on making plans with you.

No matter how busy a man is, if he really wants to see you, he will make time for you. No excuses, lies, or broken promises. If he is into you, he won’t be putting off making plans. In fact, he will be…

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WAH WARS

LOL, love this blog spot. This family is seriously hilarious! Please follow them.

Read about them here on MSN.com.

CARDBOARD BOX OFFICE

Film: Star Wars

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Happy Birthday to My Birthday Twins!

Good A.M. Happy People:

It’s my birthday and I’m shouting it from the hilltops today! It’s an incredible blessing to be celebrating another year and see the growth I’ve undertaken. Just to have this day is a gift in itself.

Here’s a list of famous people who fortuitously share this day with me. Happy born day fellow birthday twins!!!!

Dec. 23: Actor Frederic Forrest is 77. Actor James Stacy is 77. Guitarist Jorma Kaukonen (Jefferson Airplane, Hot Tuna) is 73. Drummer Ron Bushy of Iron Butterfly is 72. Actor-comedian Harry Shearer is 70. Actress Susan Lucci is 67. Guitarist Dave Murray of Iron Maiden is 57. Singer Eddie Vedder of Pearl Jam is 49. Actress Anna Maria Perez de Tagle is 23.

Enjoy this remarkable day!

~Anita

Follow Anita on Twitter: @Emranija

Happy Birthday to me!

Celebrate 100 years of Crossword

Happy Friday before Xmas, Party People!

Did you know the crossword puzzle was turning 100 today? Neither did I. Did you know some Brit newspaperman named Arthur Wynne created it? Well, I’m batting 0-2 right along with you.

My nerdy love for crossword and jigsaw puzzles began with my dad, who is an avid player of the game. So, I’d like to give a happy 100th birthday shout out to crossword puzzle. You make my brain hurt. 🙂

Check out Google’s ode to the first game: https://g.co/doodle/2m9q44 Can you solve it?

Read more about this centennial celebration: The Crossword Puzzle Turns 100

Enjoy!

~Anita

Follow Anita on Twitter: @Emranija